Know What to Ignore - Know Who to Ignore

Kudos to Joel Osteen’s Every Day a Friday, chapter seven inspired this one.

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I wasn’t exactly the typical little girl who played dolls with her friends. Majority of my friends in grade school were boys. My best friend was a guy too. I didn’t know how to play basketball well but when they needed to even out the number of players I was someone they would call. My childhood with my guy friends were spent showing off Pokemon cards and beyblades with arenas on fire.

I had girl friends who went to study ballet and belly dancing - my sister too, but it was never something that crossed my mind once. I was around grade five when I told my mom I wanted to learn karate and she nearly had a heart attack at the thought of her little girl wanting to indulge in a sport that involved getting hurt. She made me go though, she thought it would be one of my short term activities that I’d eventually get tired of. Eight years later, I’m still kicking.

The same year, I also started my track career and competed in Tagaytay. That explains why I always had dark skin as a child, I was always out and about.

I wasn’t exactly smart in grade school too, I was always in detention with my guy friends who were as lazy and “hyper” as me. I remember folding my detention slips so my grandmother wouldn’t know what she was signing. My grade school adviser would let me stay in her table and make me do my work in front of her the whole day because she would always find me slacking off and in my own little world.

Nevertheless, whenever there was a recognition event I was always smiling brightly on stage even if it was because of a ribbon labeled as “Most friendly.” It wasn’t until high school when I started becoming an honor student. I get now why my sister calls me a walking headache.

To cut it short, I was always doing different things that usually didn’t appeal to others.

I had several adults tell me I should drop my sport because Martial Arts wasn’t very ideal for a woman. They said it would scare boys away and no one would find me approachable. I also had some male friends in junior high school tell me I was scary as hell because of my smart mouth. It wasn’t at all attractive they claimed.

And for a while I listened. For a year, I stopped Karate. I also altered myself. I tried to change for other people. I changed how I looked and acted so the comments would stop but they never died down and I only ended up unhappy with myself. I ended up lost.

It was then when I realized that whatever you do, people will always have something to say about you.

Before I deleted a certain application where people could anonymously ask me questions, someone asked me if there was anything I could change in my life what would it be and why?

Very Miss Universe naman.

I didn’t give it much thought, on most days I’d say it was when I felt I was at my lowest. But now that I’ve had time to really think about it,I think I’d probably go back to the days where I let people’s negative energy control me. To when I let what they say and how they thought get the best of me.

I’d go back and react differently. Even better, I’d ignore them.

Most of my mistakes were done because I reacted impulsively - when I was angry, upset or overjoyed. I decided based solely on what I felt in that moment, not realizing that what it was might have been temporary.

I lost a lot of people and opportunity because I let my emotions decide for me.

Usually, when we’re feeling an intense emotion our eyes become blind, ears deaf, mind shut and heart cold.

I never really understood why my sister would repeatedly tell me to choose my battles because to me, as long as I can fight, I will.

And looking back now, that’s what got me into a lot of unnecessary trouble. That’s what took all of my energy - that’s what drained me.

I realized that I should stop blaming other people for the pain they’ve caused me. Because at the end of day, I am here because I chose to be here.

My heart is broken? I chose to date. I chose to risk. And it’s not always a pretty outcome but that was my decision.

I’m in bad terms with someone? I chose that too. I chose to let a heated argument and misunderstanding get in the way of our relationship and end it there. It was my choice to leave it like that.

All of what happened to me wasn’t only because of the people involved in the situation. It’s on me too.

I wasted my time blaming people that weren’t even sorry. And that was my mistake. That’s what got me stuck. It was easier to point the finger on someone else. At least when we have someone to blame, we have an excuse.

Kaya Mars, kahit ilang long message pa i-send mo, hindi yan magbabago at makikinig kung ayaw niya.

Please do yourself a favor and just walk away.

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We are drained now because we waste our energy trying to change people, trying to make them listen and understand. We are stuck because we let ourself be stuck.

You hate me? Why? What did I do to you? What can I do to change that?

You hurt me? Why did you do that? What can I do or say for you to apologize and realize your mistake?

When no one really owes us anything. Your ex doesn’t owe you any explanation, your enemy doesn’t owe you any reason, no one does.

They hate us because they do.

They leave us because they can.

Let things be as it is, we keep looking for answers when most of the time it’s already right in front of us.

Your ex broke up with you or cheated on you because he doesn’t love you anymore.

Your enemy hates you because they don’t share any common interest with you.

Stop spending your time on things that don’t matter and start investing it on things that actually do. In the words of Joel Osteen himself, KNOW WHAT TO IGNORE - KNOW WHO TO IGNORE.

It’s all easier said than done. Even now, I’m still having a tough time applying it to myself. Truth be told, we all have our toxic traits. Impulsive actions and words are really one of mine.

No one is perfect but we can always try our best to be. Life’s already complicated as it is, let’s not complicate it more. Let’s change our perspective on things, accept what is and walk away from situations that we don’t need to be in.

Your peace is more valuable than your pride.

Yours, Yna.