“Wanting more is not greedy; knowing what you deserve is not ambitious.”

There is no perfect relationship.

Let’s be honest, even if we see all of these couples on social media and it looks as if they’re living problem free, I’m sure that behind the camera, it’s not always like that- at least not 24/7.

Not once but twice I was told that I expected too much. And yes, maybe I do- maybe I did. And maybe that’s the reason why it never worked out with anyone (yet).

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Maybe it’s true that I’ve watched too many movies, read too many novels and listened to too many love songs.

But If there’s a few things I learned from it and this little journey of mine, it’s that wanting more is not greedy and knowing what I deserve is not ambitious.

Expectations aren’t disappointing, it’s the people that are.

I had to learn the hard way that It won’t always be a good day. That I can’t expect it to be and that the rain won’t stop for me or for anyone.

But looking forward to sunnier days isn’t “too much.”

Because of the films we see, we assume that it’s always rainbows and butterflies when we’re in love. I realized that in reality, a relationship works out once you come to terms with the fact that it’s not- that it’s imperfect.

Let there be allowance for mistakes and room for adjustment and growth. After all, we’re only human.

Sadly as we accept the nature of our being that we are nowhere near perfection, some people use this as a free pass to manipulate us and our feelings.The thing is, even if we are allowed to mess up because it’s normal, it doesn’t give us or anyone a free pass to be a jerk.

There’s a difference between a mistake and a painful act that resurfaces and repeats. Is consciously doing that “wrong thing” over and over again still an accident?

That was a choice.

Beware of the people who use this as an excuse. There is a difference between a man who is really sorry and a man who just doesn’t want to carry the weight of his sin.

If he’s truly sorry, he will hold himself accountable for his actions and the pain he has caused you. He understands the weight of what he did and the consequences that come with it because an apology without action is simply manipulation.

Manipulative people latch on to our empathy. They find where we’re most vulnerable and they use it against us.

What’s more?

They don’t reciprocate this. If you draw a line, keep a boundary or turn them down, they find a way to make you feel guilty for it.

At the end, their mistake was your fault.

Forgiveness is not bad, it never was. It’s not something you do for other people. It’s for yourself- your peace.

But forgiving people doesn’t require you to let them back into your life. Don’t give them the power to hurt you repeatedly. Don’t give them the upper hand.

Carry on and move forward with grace.

I can’t give you a definite criteria on who you should and should not forgive, only advice that not everyone deserves a seat in your life. Be selective of who you surround yourself with because they play an important role in who you become as a person.

Don’t lower your expectations just so someone can meet them.

We all deserve a love that goes way beyond what we ever wanted- more of what we’ve always dreamed of. Better than the movies, novels and songs we know.

Don’t settle for convenience. Be firm with the things you know you deserve.

It’s too little of a reason for someone to just want you, find that person who deserves you.

Yours, Yna.